Men aren’t typically taught it. We’re taught a lot of things, but being able to tell how we feel? No. Rarely.
Knowing what you’re feeling oftentimes begins with noticing what sensations are happening inside of your body. We’re mostly not taught to pay attention to whether our chest or belly or other parts of our bodies feel open or closed. If the feeling is solid, vaporous, liquid… Is there any movement? What temperature is it? What color? Are its borders solid or fuzzy? Is it stretchy? Solid? Hard? Soft?
We don’t learn much of that touchy feely sh** at all.
How old were you when you learned to check in with yourself and make conscious decisions based on what you found there?
If you’re like most guys it was not at all. If you’re lucky it was much later on in life, but you had to relearn it after shutting down for so long.
There’s a component of our existence so fundamentally critical that to honor it completely would mean living in nirvana.
It’s your body.
You can start small. You can wake up in the morning and just say “hello” to each part. Spend a few moments at each spot and then move to the next. I like to start at my toes, work my way up my legs and through my body, go down my arms, then up my neck and throat and round my chin, lips, nose, cheeks…
All the time paying attention to what’s available to the senses.
Even if it’s nothing. Nothing is pretty much always just a facade for a feeling your body doesn’t want to feel yet.
Because like I was saying, most men aren’t taught this kind of sissy sh**.
Wait, did I just teach you?
Good, it’s about time you learned.
Or if you knew already, it’s about time you knew that I knew.
Or if you knew that I knew then it’s about time what we started sharing it with those who don’t know and talking about it and feeling with each other and always learning more and more to make decisions from this place. This place is incredibly powerful. The empty black desolation in men’s chests has transformed cultures into soil. The expansive radiating warmth in others’ has brought a deep, full life to millions.
Emotional fluency is a choice to be made. It’s a series of actions, repeated day after day. It’s something you learn and it’s something you can be taught. It’s something you can teach yourself.
Emotional fluency is a sign of strength. It shows that you are a congruent human being.
Emotional fluency is sexy. It means that you’re in touch with your own wants and desires, and if there’s something hotter than a man that knows exactly what he wants and goes after it I haven’t heard of it yet.
Emotional fluency is necessary. Without it you’re living someone else’s dream. Or nightmare. You won’t get to choose which.
When you choose emotional fluency you are an unstoppable, magnetic ball of energy. You bring your deepest gift to every person in your life and share it like it was your last chance.
And it’s been in you this whole time, whether you were aware of it or not.